The Second Version


Your Horoscope

It's that time of the year, so I'll give it a go...

You reached the bottom a while ago, and now a charitable stranger hands you a shovel.

Jupiter will enter your sign like a demolition ball enters a condemned building, if you get what I mean.

Last year was bad, but the next can still be worse. And it will.

You thought your life was miserable before, but you never experienced slavery.

Shit will hit the fan, and the motor fail in a shower of sparks that will ignite the biogas overhead.

That light at the end of the tunnel? It's a runaway freight train loaded with napalm.

You may improve your living conditions relocating to Afghanistan.

Did you sell one kidney already? How will you get through the next crisis then?

Wealth and power are at hand. Are you ready to kill and pillage for it?

You'd better prepare yourself to resist that gang of marauding Sagittarius.

Surviving is already a success - but maybe not in a contaminated wasteland.

This will be your last chance, but Mercury is the planet of squandered chances. And it's coming for you.

Aside: Someone may ask, why I write silly pieces while there's quite a war raging in the Gaza Strip? Simple; it's too early to say what strategic and geopolitical results it will achieve, and as a rightwing deathbeast I stopped caring for the plight of the Palestinians quite a while ago. So go Israel, kick arses and take names.

Etichette: ,

3 Commenti:

  • Nice Horoscope. Linked in my facebook page.

    Di Anonymous Wellington, Alle 30/12/08 20:59  

  • I had to express all the love I feel for my fellow humans these days.

    Di Blogger Fabio, Alle 30/12/08 21:55  

  • E' da un po' che ti sento giù. Speriamo meglio per l'anno nuovo.

    Di Anonymous Wellington, Alle 31/12/08 18:18  

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