Tempting Temptations

Let the tranzis simmer in their own ISO-EN-compliant stock for a while, there is some serious heavy metal action looming at the horizon.
When can an impenitent metalhead see Metallica and Megadeth on the same stage again? And in one day go from Overkill to Raining Blood?

Monday Night Music

To keep with the ongoing theme of "I'm not fucking inspired to write anything of substance because I'd rather mount a bitchin' minigun* on a harley and go Mad Max", here's some rocking music for my readers.

First, something about a girl with a little extra padding but other virtues...



Wanna tell you a story
'Bout a woman I know
When it comes to lovin'
Oh she steals the show
She ain't exactly pretty
Ain't exactly small
Forty-two, thirty-nine, fifty-six
You could say she's got it all
Never had a woman
Never had a woman like you
Doing all the things
Doing all the things you do
Ain't no fairy story
Ain't no skin and bone
But you give it all you got
Weighing in at nineteen stone
CHORUS:
You're a whole lotta woman
A whole lotta woman
Whole lotta Rosie
And you're a whole lotta woman
Oh honey you can do it
Do it to me all night long
Only wanna turn
Only wanna turn me on
All through the night time
And right around the clock
To my surprise
Rosie never stops

And then... well, for people with a rather gross sense of humor - of the typical Italian type - only. Not safe for puritans, politically correct corporations and POSERS especially.


* Extra points for those who get the reference.

Some Different Music

In a deviation from my usual "metal, as heavy as you can take it" fare, here's a few videos of a different kind. Still, not exactly easy-listening.

I know only one song by Front 242, but it's a catchy one: Headhunter (Warning, a couple of scenes aren't very safe for work).

I was unable to locate a decent video of the live version of this song, but on stage they have a real drummer for a more powerful and aggressive sound - play loud for best results.

Another song I like is a techno remix of the Das Boot theme; some sources attribute it to Kraftwerk but in reality it is by U96 - another German techno ensemble. Anyway, here it is...

Even this song seems to exist in more than one version, but they're similar enough. Better than a lot of the commercial crap that infests clubs these days.

When talking about electronic music, one cannot ignore Laibach. This Slovenian band also owns the dubious record of being the most provocative I've heard of. Am I exaggerating, you think? Judge by yourself - Tanz Mit Laibach:

And this one too - God Is God:

And if that wasn't enough - Slovania:


At the intersection of metal and electronic music, there is Rammstein. These German chaps know pretty well how to stir up some shit, for sure. Some also define them as "Laibach for adolescents", and it's quite fitting. Here's a song of theirs, a classic in its live glory - Du Hast.

Have a fine mosh session, and stay safe from fire!

Do You Want More Metal?

Yes

C'mon! Louder! Do you want more metal?
Yea

Alright scream it! Do you want more metal?
YEEEAHHHH!

And you got more motherfucking metal! Crank your speakers up to 11!







And yes, I'm not posting much of substance: I had one hard week at work, and the next one is gonna be harder...

Saturday Morning Metal 2

Before I have some more range fun, here's another fix of pure kickass music...

Slayer live with their classic Angel of Death



Obituary, one other brutal band - too bad I couldn't find a decent live video of their Slowly We Rot


To finish, something slightly less brutal, but nowadays almost part of history: when four Texans rocked Moscow, Pantera playing Cowboys From Hell during the legendary Monsters of Rock 1991 which also featured Metallica and AC/DC - boy, that was a festival!


I don't know about you, but after this I feel like donning steel-toed boots, worn camo trousers, my Motorhead T-shirt, go to the first metal gig and jumping into the mosh pit after downing four pints...

Friday Night Metal

Get another fix of drum-rupturing shit!

First of all, a classic of classics: The Number of The Beast. Without this song metal wouldn't be the same. Check out the video too, a small masterpiece of cheesiness.


But tonight I feel brutal, so let's go for some Italian (though you wouldn't guess it) hardcore. From Raw Power, legends in the field.


Remaining in the hardcore territory, this is one dangerous band. Really, I broke my nose at a The Haunted gig, no kidding.


And to end this piece for the better... hell, no intro. Just see for yourself.

Saturday Morning Metal

Yeah, it's Saturday! Let's go and kick some ass tonight!

Before I set off to the range, I want to leave you with some music to pump you up: two Italian metal bands (careful, clicking on the links plays music).

First, Moth's Circle Flight: they play a rather pure kind of crossover - which is not really my stuff, bu they're good at it.

Second, Coram Lethe. This guys pound really hard instead, into the death metal territory.
Here they are, live.

Notice anything unusual about the lead singer, by the way?

Metal Up Your Ass!

Offense to Be Washed in Blood

Dr David Thorpe, you have crossed a line and thus sealed your fate.

The Legoins of Metal will get you, and you will taste torments so atrocious that Abu Musab al-Zarqawi would wince at the thought. Torments so unspeakable that Morgoth himself regarded them as a bit over the top.

You will be chained to a Marshall Wall that will play every single metal album, single, demo ever recorded since Ian Kilminster first picked up a bass guitar. All this while curvaceous metal girls will sexually molest you and humiliate your virility.

And that's just the warm-up part... when we'll be finished, you'll be the craziest, wildest, most fanatical metalhead ever seen in this world. Or you'll be dead, and Norwegian black metal kids will use your bones as sexual objects.

Weirdos

Notice- This is not a serious post. Actually, is a bit unhinged...

I've realized long ago that Internet is the place for weirdos. Think of any weird, perverted, stupid, irrelevant thing and you'll be able to find more than you can handle about it with a few second on Google.

So I should not be surprised that people make strange homemade music videos, but some things are just too strange. They mixed Rammstein's song Engel with images from Neon Genesis Evangelion, but I guess that's right, because both song and anime deal with angels. And both NGE's cast and the band are a bunch of psychos. And the video looks cool in the end.

Anime strike again, in a video of Michael Jackson's (you don't need a link here, do you?) Smooth Criminal played on scenes from both Cowboy Bebop and Trigun. But hereby I confess I always had a liking for Smooth Criminal. And altogether ask for pardon.

Then I found a video of Manowar's song Carry On... made with images from the videogame Final Fantasy IX.* Manowar live in a fantasy world, so what's wrong with adding a fantsy videogame to the mix? The wrong is that FF9 is a kind of "soft", cutesy fantasy world. While Manowar's world is... well, like an everlasting Battle of Pelennor Fields, where the Rohirrim ride Harleys rather than horses. And probably wear cowskin briefs too.

Manowar provided the music - Master of the Wind - for another weird video. Which features a naked, smoking-hot swarthy lady in the middle of a desert plain. I knew that Manowar don't exactly dislike feminine beauty, but that looked suspect. No leather, no swords, no bikes? And in fact I noticed the bunny logo in the bottom right corner...yes, they used footage from Playboy TV.** Now, the information you all were waiting for: the girl is credited as Neferteri Shepherd - Miss July 2000.

From wierd to weirder, it's another Rammstein's song, Moskau (which has a rather curious story by itself, because a collaboration with the fake-lesbo-lolicon TATU was rumored long ago; probably the female voices in here are not TATU's, but the label "Rammstein and TATU" stuck). Anyway, the video is made combining the music with images from a videogame, called Hellgate, in which - surprise! - two fighters in futuristic-retro armor shoot, slash and stab at scores of demons, zombies and other hellish creatures. And, even more surprisingly, the female monster slayer has DD boobs and wears a curve-enhancing armor! To complete the works - or to utterly mess up the whole thing - the images at the beginning of the video suggest an analogy between heroic images of communist propaganda and the two fighters of the game. Yes, my brain went in a powerslide.

And like it weren't enough, someone also combined Moskau with stock footage of North Korea. Well, the other videos are weird but fun; this one is genuinely creepy instead.

* Warning, annoying Flash intro and music.
** Do I really need to tell you that it is NSFW?